Moving on (again)…

So, I got all fired up a while ago about coming back to blogging as I got together with my partner (now husband!) and we embarked on a mission to pursue having a child via IVF.

Once we actually got into the process I didn’t find the time or mental energy for blogging consistently.

We did the ERA test and if showed that my uterus does go into the receptive state, so we moved ahead with IVF and we managed to get 5 blastocyst (5 day old) embryos frozen. 4 embryo transfers later we are still childless.

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1 door closes… how many others should I leave open?

After some soul searching following last week’s bad news I’ve decided I’m not going to try to get pregnant. It’s with a heavy heart that I have taken the decision that I don’t think I can put myself into the position where I could knowingly face the disappointment of constant failures of IUI cycles, the anxiety of a very high risk pregnancy, or the trauma of losses  (esp if these were “late”).

These things could happen to anyone (and I know they have happened for many of you in this group), but I feel like it’s one thing having to cope with an unexpected tragedy and another to deliberately put yourself into that situation. Psychologically I don’t think I’d cope well.
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